Wednesday, February 2, 2011

Abrasive, Handful, Loss


A handful of hair,
It's no great loss after all.
I shouldn't have been so abrasive.
No great loss
Just a handful of hair
I shouldn't have angered him.
Hair grows back.
It's really no great loss.





(Sorry, these words just seemed to suggest a very serious topic this week.)

12 comments:

  1. Oh so serious! And you seem to have captured that mentality perfectly.

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  2. This is powerful. Edgy. Excellent.

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  3. Why didn't sheu pull his hair out instead? Great imagery and depiction of resignation. Now can your character get out of the relationship?

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  4. Sheilagh Lee said: waht horrible abuse! Wow you really showed us the poor victim

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  5. This is superb. I wish you'd put a period at the end instead of an exclamation point, but its simplicity and the repetition and the building up in it is really good.

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  6. Very good use of the prompt words - strong piece - I do so hope it was fiction!

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  7. Yes, Altonian, it was fiction, but I have known people in situations very like this who explained and justified away all kinds of ill treatment at the hands of one they loved. My husband was a little worried that people would think he was an abuser when they read this, but I assured him that his reputation was safe.

    Peter. You are right. It just needed a period. I was surprised to see the exclamation point there myself and don't know how it got there. Thanks for pointing it out. Sometimes I don't notice things like that for months.

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  8. No need for apologies - you have written a powerful piece...which clearly resonates with a lot of people..it is hard for loved ones to read things which we write as fiction perhaps? Shows how well it was written for the message to be so clear..Jae

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  9. I am relieved to know this piece (at least, where you are concerned) is fiction. Abuse to me is unfathomable, but just plain wrong - and evil. You captured that sentiment incredibly with just in just a few words.

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  10. Relationships like that are so confusing...I too am glad it is fiction but see it all the time. Self esteem seems to erode to the point where people caught up in those kind of relationships completely forget that they are worth more.

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  11. Such a powerful, emotional piece that very strongly conveys the terror of domestic abuse, and they way abused women try to minimize the abuse.

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  12. A very serious topic, indeed. And you handled it so well. Great work!

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